Guilt. It’s everywhere. It creeps into our mornings when we skip the workout, into our workdays when we miss a meeting, and into our nights when we feel we’ve let our families down. For women especially, guilt has been baked into our history, our media, and our workplaces. And it holds us back.

For me, I joke that I was born with the holy trinity of guilt: I’m a woman, I’m Italian, and I’m Catholic. That’s basically a triple shot of expectation guaranteed to keep you up at night. But the truth is, we all have our own version of this baggage, the narratives, roles, and cultural pressures that keep whispering we’re not enough.

And guilt loves company. It teams up with what I call the “disease to please” the constant compulsion to say yes, to over-deliver, to cut the sandwiches in cute shapes, to be liked by everyone. That’s when guilt turns from a passing feeling into a way of living. We over-function for everyone else while under-nourishing ourselves.

The problem isn’t that we feel guilt. The problem is that we let guilt define us. We second-guess our decisions, play it safe instead of innovating, and silence our ambition because we don’t want to be “too much.” Guilt chips away at confidence until we avoid risks altogether. And when we hold ourselves back, we rob the world of our ideas, our leadership, and our impact.

So how do we break free? It starts with authenticity.

When I joined TikTok as marketing employee #1, the imposter syndrome was fierce. I was even told to “act like a Chad”  to own my chair like a mediocre man who speaks without hesitation. (Side note: apologies to all the lovely Chads out there. You know who you are. This one isn’t about you.) But the point is, that wasn’t me. And when I finally stopped performing and leaned into being authentically myself, messy, ambitious, empathetic, I started to see those so-called weaknesses for what they really were: my superpowers.

Now, at Diageo, I’m leading with that same belief: that kindness is not weakness, that ambition is not arrogance, and that authenticity is not optional. It’s essential. Research proves it, authentic leaders build more trust, unlock more innovation, and drive deeper collaboration. But more importantly, it feels better. It frees us from the hamster wheel of “not enough” and gives us permission to lead in a way that actually reflects who we are.

Here’s the truth: guilt will never disappear. It’s too ingrained. But we can reframe it. Instead of letting guilt weigh us down, we can see it as a signal to pause, reset, and realign with our values. To say no when it matters. To set boundaries without apology. To choose ourselves without shame.

Because when we stop letting guilt, and our disease to please, define us, we start leading with courage, compassion, and authenticity. And that changes everything, not just for us, but for the people we lead, the workplaces we shape, and the cultures we create.

This is what I shared in my talk at The Gathering in Banff, October 2024. If this resonates, I invite you to watch the full talk here ➝